Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.  And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another.  For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.
2 Corinthians 3:17-18

Today was one of those days.  You know the kind where nothing really seems to go right and you cry at the drop of a hat.....yeah, that kind.

First, some history:
I have basically become a mom to several boys who live in our neighborhood.  They come over every day after school to do their homework, eat lunch, and just hang out.    

As I'm sure you can imagine from the photo they are a bit of a rowdy bunch.  The one on the far right (Kitson) is my buddy, or my "shadow" as some call him because he literally goes everywhere with me.  Well, last week he got in a fight at school....with a girl no less.  So after school we sat down to talk about it.  He told me that she hit him first and the he had to hit her back because otherwise everyone would just hit him because they thought they could.  I told him that he didn't need to do that and that he should just walk away, just because someone hits you doesn't mean you should hit them back.  I told him how I knew he was a better person than that and how we want to be more like Jesus, and Jesus wouldn't hit somebody back.  

Fast forward to today...

Kitson, Richcarde and I are sitting waiting for English class to start and one of the boys that is in our secondary school said something to me in Creole that I didn't understand, so he starts laughing at me and talking about how I can't understand Creole.  So (in a voice that was probably not as nice as it should have been) I told him that he shouldn't laugh at me that at least I'm trying and that if he tried to speak English I wouldn't laugh at him if he didn't understand something.

A little later Kitson said he was going to leave, but really he just went outside of the school gate and was hiding behind the wall just trying to be funny.  I went over to tell him to come work on his homework and as I was looking over the wall a boy said something that wasn't nice about me in Creole because he thought that I couldn't understand.  I didn't say anything mean to him but just told him (again in a voice that was probably not as nice as it should have been since I was already frustrated by being laughed at) that I could understand what he was saying and that it was rude.  I was so frustrated that it made me cry.  This obviously bothered Kitson because he waited quietly (super unusual for him) for me to get out of class.  

As soon as I walk out of class he starts questioning me about what happened.  I tell him what happened and then he starts telling me that I shouldn't pay attention to people who say things like that and reminding me of all the things that I told him last week.  Wow.  Eyes and ears always watching and listening to what you say and do.  I didn't do what I had told him to do and he let me know it.  As we continued to talk about it I told him that I should have just walked away and I didn't, I made a mistake and I'm sorry.  That seemed to settle it for him, but I continued to think about and process it.  Only by the grace of God will I be able to react to situations as I should.  I need to be very intentional in praying about this because no matter how much I want to just set my mind to it and be able to do it I know that I can't, only He can.  

I think the hardest thing is that when I really stop to think about it I realize that this teenage boy most likely isn't saying rude things just because he's a punk kid, but there is something much deeper going on.  This place is so full of darkness and despair.  And in that moment when someone really needs to see Jesus I pray that my reaction would be one that would show them His grace and mercy and not my frustration.